Since I am not doing much, I thought I would comment on comments! I appreciate all your experiences. I kind of had an answer to my prayers about this issue,although i believe it is a work in progress. I realized that my prayers are kind of selfish. I do pray for my kids and to be better for them and my husband, but I kind of don't pray directly to know what I should be doing, in a loving and Christlike way. I seek direction, but not every time, and not with charity. I'm blinded by my selfish irritation at their faults. I just want them to change, I don't want to lead the way. I am planning on making my prayers more of a two way exchange, and to write answers. I read a couple of talks from conference, one from Elder Withlin on the first and great commandment (possibly the best talk ever, seriously life changing) from October 2007 and started the one about love given by President Uctdorff from last October. If any of you are unfamiliar with what I'm talking about and want to look for yourself you can go to LDS.org and look under gospel library than conference talks. It is all about the love. Like my friend said (we'll call her Bob) love them. (By the way, I will never use any or your names in my blog. Unless you want me too! )These talks always clear things up for me. And I figure there's nothing better than asking for others experiences, it brings out the best in all of us I think. Well, hopefully my ankle is on the mend and I'll be able to hike with my family this week. Thanks to everyone.
Tiffany
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Friday, July 9, 2010
Help! All moms of kids 10 and up I would love to hear some practical advice after you take just a minute to read this.
Funny thing, I started writing this and between beginning it and resuming it, I sprained my ankle. This is the second time I've done this doing something really dumb, I misjudged where to step and fell, twisting it. The reason it's funny is because I was intending to write about how hard it is to try and prioritize the important things my kids need from me, and now I need to rest my ankle. When people told me that teenagers would be the hard part of raising kids, I sort of believed them, but couldn't imagine how it'd be harder than babies. Well now I know. Physically, it is much easier. But now I struggle because there are a couple of things I've learned. Nagging doesn't work. Lecturing doesn't work. It can work to some extent, but the end result isn't necessarily what's important. Any one can go through the motions of living the gospel. My son said to me that he wasn't going to do good while I was watching and that was an eye opener. He is tired of my negative comments and I have created that attitude in him. I have learned that we should ask them to set goals, and follow up. Doesn't sound complicated does it? Well for some reason it's HARD! It's not just the teens, it's kids of probably six and up. So, now I try to come up with worthwhile goals for them and I want to talk with them to help them progress. However, I struggle with who to talk to, when to talk to them, how to follow through. It's so hard to know what I should be focusing on! And to be consistent! It all seems equally important. They have health issues, school issues, sibling relationship issues, it goes on and on. I start to go a little crazy. My latest effort is to print pages with their names and all those areas I just described, then write them down. Trouble is I have to act on it at some point! I would love for anyone at any time within reading this, to give me some words of wisdom, especially those with multiple kids who have learned from their own experiences. Maybe there is some one out there who can sympathize as well.
Funny thing, I started writing this and between beginning it and resuming it, I sprained my ankle. This is the second time I've done this doing something really dumb, I misjudged where to step and fell, twisting it. The reason it's funny is because I was intending to write about how hard it is to try and prioritize the important things my kids need from me, and now I need to rest my ankle. When people told me that teenagers would be the hard part of raising kids, I sort of believed them, but couldn't imagine how it'd be harder than babies. Well now I know. Physically, it is much easier. But now I struggle because there are a couple of things I've learned. Nagging doesn't work. Lecturing doesn't work. It can work to some extent, but the end result isn't necessarily what's important. Any one can go through the motions of living the gospel. My son said to me that he wasn't going to do good while I was watching and that was an eye opener. He is tired of my negative comments and I have created that attitude in him. I have learned that we should ask them to set goals, and follow up. Doesn't sound complicated does it? Well for some reason it's HARD! It's not just the teens, it's kids of probably six and up. So, now I try to come up with worthwhile goals for them and I want to talk with them to help them progress. However, I struggle with who to talk to, when to talk to them, how to follow through. It's so hard to know what I should be focusing on! And to be consistent! It all seems equally important. They have health issues, school issues, sibling relationship issues, it goes on and on. I start to go a little crazy. My latest effort is to print pages with their names and all those areas I just described, then write them down. Trouble is I have to act on it at some point! I would love for anyone at any time within reading this, to give me some words of wisdom, especially those with multiple kids who have learned from their own experiences. Maybe there is some one out there who can sympathize as well.
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