I am absolutely exhausted today and thought that might be a good time to write. On the frivolous side, I feel my twilightitus coming on. That is, my addiction to the twilight saga. Must be the Eclipse movie coming out. I don't even like the movies that much, but I love anything to do with Twilight. I have learned to control my addiction. Although yesterday I missed a turn because they were going to give some quote from Robert Pattinson.

I think my goal or quest is to show people that spirituality has a very practical application to life, maybe more than any of us realize. It's not just for church.

Grace from the Lord is real. I, like many women have days when I am so tired, I'm not sure how I will be able to do all I perceive I should do. Men probably feel it too, it's just in a situation I'm not really familiar with anymore. I read a talk from LDS conference about trials and how the Savior handled them and how He prayed more earnestly. I have a had a little drama lately. I don't want to be a grouch or neglect my family because of whatever physical and emotional problems I may be going through. (usually they are part of whatever problem is going on!) So I prayed more earnestly. And the spirit came. I have to do my part, I have to ask what will I do today. It's being led in a way I can't describe, I can't put words to it.

I do not want anyone to think that I am boasting of my spiritual superiority. We are all on different parts of the journey, that's the beauty of the Lord's love, He know exactly what we need to help us along. My particular problem is that I get distracted, I start reasoning with the world's reasoning. I let myself get uptight about household duties, errands, etc. You know the drill. I went this morning from having a certain level of anxiety as to how I would use my time, to having a quiet confidence as to what I would do. Other people don't function(or should I say dysfunction) like that, they know exactly what they are going to do and do it. I am one girl who is easy to distract! I also had the spirit tell me the other day that I do not need to worry about anything, the one thing I should worry most about is doing what the Savior would do. The peace that came from that! Amazing. Of course I messed up after that, I grouched at someone, but I can always go back to that and start again.

My last thought is that this is not an exclusive deal, this is not just me. There are steps we all have to take but the Lord makes his promises to everyone! I get the feeling that people read this or hear someone bear their testimony and think well, that's nice for them. Your miracle can start right now, today. It does take effort, and a determination not to be hard on yourself when you mess up.

It may be harder to keep up with a blog than I thought. Well, here goes my first attempt at coherency. I have thought about this for a few days. I was watching the BYU channel (not something I do often) and they have this little ad where they ask someone to take pictures of anything they see that's good. The one I saw recently surprised me. It was a guy who worked on some sort of building site, or a demolition site not sure which. But he started taking pictures of things you normally wouldn't think of as necessarily good. A fork lift, wrenches all lined up on a peg board, a huge beam being rolled to the ground. This is the second one I've seen and it caused me to think what is good? Maybe all that is good is not necessarily beauty or gives pleasure in some way. Could there be infinite amounts of good that we aren't willing to take notice of? Like the solid island counter top in my kitchen, the way the tile is laid in my shower, the double yellow lines on the road that keep me from careening to the other side. If there is an infinite amount of good, why do we focus so much on that which is bad? I think some would think that this is a simple minded approach to life, that we can't over look the problems in the world. But that isn't really what I'm trying to get across. I don't think the world is an idyllic place. I'm thinking that my peace of mind and my grattitude to the Lord, could increase ten fold. And that maybe the next time one of my kids is supposedly driving me nuts, I can stop and look for a second and really see what's good. My six year old's beautiful eyes, my 20 month old's cute little toes. I thought about it again today as I was making lunch for my kids. I was dead tired and my normal reaction was starting to be "man I wish I didn't have to do this." But then I thought about how making it is doing something good, something seemingly ordinary but yet not ordinary. It didn't seem like a burden to me any more, it seemed like a privilege. Is there really anything we do for each other that is ordinary? I am going to challenge myself to constantly look for all that's good. If by chance anyone reads this and has time to comment, I would love to hear from you what is good. Look around you and let me know!